Profession Jokes - Other Doctor Jokes
"What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man sitting next to her on the airplane. "I'm a naval surgeon," he replied. "Goodness!" said the lady, "How you doctors specialize these days!"
My optician arranged to meet me in a secret location. He handed me a pair of glasses in a brown envelope and said "for your eyes only"
I've got a rash
A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I've got a rash round my cock, have you got anything for it?"
The doctor said "Put this on and come back next week if it doesn't work."
The man comes back the next week and the cream hadn't worked, so he tells the doctor. The doctor gives him more cream and tells him to come back next week if it doesn't work. The man comes back and the cream still hasn't worked, so the doctor says "Drop your pants."
The man drops his pants and the doctor has a look and tells him to put another cream on. The man then says "Doctor it's worked!! What was that?"
The doctor replies "Lipstick remover"
A Famous Surgeon on Safari in Africa
A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. "Oh, it was very disappointing," he said. "I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital!"
Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes. Morris shouts across the garage, "Hey DeBakey! Is that you" '"Come on over here a minute!" The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was working on the car. Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at this here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks, when you and me is doing basically the same work?" Dr. DeBakey leaned over and whispered to Morris the loudmouth mechanic... "Now try doing it with the engine running!"