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The best jokes and joke writers!

Fair business

Here's one about the old native American who wanted a loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application, "What are you going to do with the money?" "Take jewelry to the city and sell it," was the response. "What have you got for collateral?", asked the Banker, curiously.  "I have a horse.", said the old man.  "How old is it?", said the banker.  "Don't know, has no teeth.", replied the old man.

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said. He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off.  "What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"  "Put in teepee.", replied the old man. "Why don't you deposit it in my bank," the banker asked. "Don't know deposit.", responded the old Native American.  The banker replied, "You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it."  The old Indian leaned across the desk, "What you got for collateral?"

Daughter in College

Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter's college education?

As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"

Glasses

Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.

Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

        The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

  1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
  2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
  3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"
  4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
  5. The Interior Designer - who tells her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"
  6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"
  7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"

Letter From The Bank

I received a letter from my bank the other day, telling me, "This is the last time we're going to spend a quarter to tell you that you have fifteen cents!"