Profession Jokes

Concussion Check Up

One weekend my friend Sally, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head. Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night. Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?" Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room. When Sally went in at 5:00 A.M., she found something white on his forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his forehead. It read: "My name is Daniel."

Anonymous

New Lawyer and the phone man

Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school.
He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first.
One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking.. "No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million.." "Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support.." "Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details.." This sort of thing went on for almost 5 minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions.
Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?" The man replied "I'm from the phone company..I came to hook up your phone."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

New Bowling Rules

Supplemental Rules for Bowling:
If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".
When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.
After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.
When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.
After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair".
If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way.
Good bowling should be recognized. A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous