Spotting a Lawyer

Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry.  Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below.  As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.  One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?"  The man yells back, "About a half mile from town."  Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist. One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer."  The other says, "A lawyer?  How do you know that?"  The first says, "That's easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."

Poem About Economics

Folks came from afar just to see two economists who'd agreed to agree. While the event did take place, it proved a disgrace; they agreed one plus one adds to three.

Your very first time!

It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid, and you shake your head bravely and mumble no. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him, he's done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins moving in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few frenzied moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you. You lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. Keep reading ... You smile and thank your dentist! After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled. Naughty, Naughty! What were you thinkin'? PERVERT I know what you were thinking!