Always the Lawyer

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered 'no' to the question. The next question, intended for those who answered the preceding question with a 'yes', was "why?" Nevertheless, the lawyer answered it, "Never got caught."

Med Examination

A woman comes to a gynecologist for a checkup. She seems to be very embarrassed and uncomfortable."Haven't you been examined like this before?" asks the doctor. "Many times," she giggles, "but never by doctor!"

The 3 shrinks!

While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have no one to go to with our own problems." "Since we're all professionals,"  another suggests, "why don't we hear each other out right now?" They agreed this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually over bill my patients as often as I can." The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me." The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret."