Married A Convcit

First Convict: I heard the Warden's daughter up and married a guy down on Cellblock D. The Warden's mighty upset about it too.
Second Convict: Why? Because she married a con?
First Convict: No. Because they eloped!

Pilot Difference

Q: What's the difference between American and Serbian pilots?
A: American pilots break ground and fly into the wind!

Tardy Attention

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"