A Man Encounters a Friend

A man encounters a friend and sees that his friend's car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, "What's happened to your car?" "Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer." "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood, but what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?" "Well, I had to chase him all through the park."

Dog Story

A veterinarian got a phone call at midnight one night. The woman on the other end of the phone said, "My wee puppy is together with the dog from next door and I can't get them apart." The vet asked her if she tried throwing a bucket of water on them. She said "Yes, but it didn't work." He said, "Did you try hitting them with a broom." She said, "Yes, but that didn't work either." He then said, "Well Ma'am here's what you do. Hang up. I'll call you back. When the phone rings, they will separate." She said, "Do you really think that will work?" He said, "Well it just did for me!"

Hospital Work

It's so strange to work in a hospital. In one room there's a father holding his son for the first time. In another room there's a son holding his father for the last time.
And yet in another room there's a guy with a remote stuck in his anus. It's the circle of life.