Blind Justice

A young boy asked is father, "Dad, do lawyers ever tell the truth?" The father thought for a moment, "Yes son, sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case!"

Samples Needed

My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen specimen. I told him, "Just give them your underwear."

Where Do You Live?

A cop pulled up two Irish drunks, and asked to the first, "What's your name and address?" "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address." The cop turned to the second drunk, and asked the same question. "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."