Samples Needed

My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen specimen. I told him, "Just give them your underwear."

Where Do You Live?

A cop pulled up two Irish drunks, and asked to the first, "What's your name and address?" "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address." The cop turned to the second drunk, and asked the same question. "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."

Three Surgeons

Once there were three surgeons engaged in conversation. They got on the topic of their occupation and each stated who they liked to operate on. The first doctor said, "I like to work on electricians." "Why?" the others replied. He answered, "When you open them up, they are all color coded so you know where everything goes." The second doctor said, "I like to work on librarians." "Why?"  the other doctors asked. He replied, "Librarians are all organized in a sophisticated pattern." The third doctor said, "Well, I like to work on lawyers."  "Lawyers?!" replied the others surprised. "Yes, Lawyers" he stated. "But why?" they asked him. "Well, they are gutless, they have no spine, and their heads and butts are inter-changeable."