Body Building

A physically large guy meets a woman at a bar, and after a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, ready for the act, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See there, baby? That's 1000 pounds of Dynamite!"  She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging legs, "See those, baby?  That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!"  She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to run out the door, and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to leave?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite, and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

Dale Carnegie

Q: Did you hear about the statistician who took the Dale Carnegie course?
A: He improved his confidence from .95 to .99

Lesbian at the Gynecologist

A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place her feet in the stirrups. As he is examining her she hears him saying "mmmm... mmmhmmm". He completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him in his office when she is done. In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his non-verbal comments. "Oh, that" he says. " I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest vaginal area that I have ever seen in all my years of practice." The young woman proudly smiled and replied, "Why thank you! I have a woman come in twice a week and clean it!"