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Profession Jokes
Bump
Mr. Horntoot admitted to his wife that he was feeling much better since his operation, but couldn't account for the enormous bump on the back of his head. "Oh, that?" chuckled Mrs. Horntoot. "Just before your operation they suddenly ran out of ether!"
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Trouble with plane engines
While cruising at 36,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and a passenger looked out the window. "Oh no!" he screamed, "One of the engines just blew up!" Other passengers left their seats and came running over. Suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers were in a panic now and even the stewardesses couldn't maintain order.
Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor seemed made most of the passengers feel better and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attached the package to their backs. "Say", spoke up an alert passenger, "Aren't those parachutes?". The pilot confirmed that they were. The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?". "There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. "We're going to get help."
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Daughter in College
Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter's college education?
As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"
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