Six times Six

A woman goes into a bar real depressed and uses her last 10 dollars to buy a drink. All of a sudden she gets an idea that she knows will solve her problems. She takes her change and goes to the man at the end of the bar and says, "Mister, I'm broke and my landlord said if I don't give him the rent money first thing in the morning, I'm out of a place to live. I'll bet you my last five dollars that I can come up with a rhyme that you can't come up with a reply to." The man wanting to help her says ok go ahead. So she tells him, "six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine. I can tell the length of yours but you can't tell the depth of mine." The man scratches his head and says, "your right, I can't top that," and he pays her the five dollars. Then she goes to the next man and the next until she has beat every man in the bar. So she goes to the next bar and starts betting 100 at a time. She does this at every bar on the block until she has 3,000 dollars. Deciding thats enough she heads for home. On her way she meets a bum in an alley and decides to have a little fun. So she tells the bum that she will bet her 3,000 dollars against his bottle of booze that she can tell him a ryhme to which he cant come up with a reply. The bum figures what the heck and says "your on." "Six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine, I can tell the length of yours but you can't tell the depth of mine." The bum sits back, thinks for a minute and says "six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine, I can piss in yours but you can't piss in mine!!"

Monica Back in the News

AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, "I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face." "This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way that I know how: head on." "I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it." "Thank you." Monica Lewinsky

Perot Corn

Two farmers were talking at the general store. One farmer says to the other, "Did you hear about that new variety of corn called Perot corn?" The second farmer replies, "No I ain't." The first farmer says, "Yeah, it's a big yielding variety. The stalk don't grow too big, but the ears are tremendous!"