Dracula Vs Superman

Q: How does Dracula plan to destroy Superman? 
A: He's going to lure him into his crypt tonight.

Homing Device

Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late?
Wife #2: Well, every time he would come home I would simply say, 'Mike, is that you?'
Wife #1: I still don't understand. How did that keep him from staying out?
Wife #2: My husband's name is Andrew.

Banana Bread

Banana Bread Ingredients:

• 2 laughing eyes
• 2 loving arms
• 2 well shaped legs
• 2 firm milk containers
• 1 fur-lined mixing bowl
• 1 large banana

Instructions:

1. Look into laughing eyes and hold loving arms.
2. Spread well shaped legs slowly.
3. Squeeze & massage milk containers until the fur-lined mixing bowl is well greased, check with middle finger.
4. Add banana, work up and down until well creamed.
5. Lower nuts and sigh with relief, when banana is soft, bread is done!
6. Be sure to wash mixing utensils, but "do not lick the bowl."

NOTE: If bread rises, leave town.