Washcloth Carpet

Your house is so small, if you dropped a washcloth, it would look like wall to wall carpeting.

Photo at Lawyer Convention

A photographer was hired to take pictures at a lawyers' convention. When he lined up his subjects, he got them to look their best by shouting, "Okay, everyone say, 'Fees!"

Genie's Slide

There was an Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman. One day they came across a ladder and climbed up it, as one does. At the top of the ladder there was a genie and she said: "As you go down this slide, shout out whatever you want to land in..." So the Englishman shouted "Beeeeeeer." The Scotsman shouts "Whisssskey." And the poor old Irishman shouted, "Weeeeeeeee!"