Dirty Man

Q: What do you call a dirty old man who lives in a box?
A: Your dad!

Pull Lever - End World!

A road crew is making a giant freeway, when they come across a sign and a lever. The sign reads "pull lever and end world". The workers decide not to pull the lever just in case. One night, a man named Nate is driving home. He is very drunk and is just about to hit the lever when he slides off of the road and over a cliff. The headlines in the newspaper the next day all read, "Better Nate than Lever!"

English Teacher

The first civilian on the shuttle was an English teacher...now she's history.