Dreaded Question

Q: What should you say if he asks you, "Am I your first"?
A: You might be, you look familiar

The Vegas Trip!

Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation. The first guy says, "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my old lady flings her arms and hollers, "7 come 11" all night and I haven't had a wink of sleep!" The second guy says, "I know what you mean... my old lady played blackjack the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all night and hollers 'hit me light or hit me hard', and I haven't had a wink of sleep either!" The third guy says, "You guys think you have it bad! My old lady played the slots the whole time we were there... every morning, I wake up with a sore dingy and an butt full of quarters!

Three Stages of Sex

3 Stages of Sex:
1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room.
2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom.
3. Hall Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "Fuck you!"