Back to the Gym

Finally, a friend's husband has decided that, at the ripe old age of 48, he needs to get into shape. They went to the gym where a trainer asked him if he could do the splits. 'Of course I can't', he answered. 'How flexible are you?' she asked. To which he replied 'Well, I can't do Tuesdays.'

Black Eye

Scoutmaster: "Tenderfoot, how did you get that black eye?" Tenderfoot: "Sir, I was hit by a guided muscle with a knucklear warhead!

Two Fools Flying

Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some bungees lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms. After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground. Laying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this bungee jumping. "The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either."