Largest Rodent

Q: What city has the largest rodent population?
A: Hamsterdam.

What Did The Turkey Do

A man goes to a pet shop and buys a talking parrot. He takes the parrot home and tries to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead, the parrot just swears at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird, the man finally says, "If you don't stop swearing, I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment." The parrot continues, so finally the man puts the bird in the freezer. About an hour later, the parrot asks the man to please open the door. As the man takes the shivering bird out of the freezer, it says, "I promise to never swear again. Just tell me what that turkey did!"

Help Needed!

A man running through the crowded train looked very agitated, calling out, "Is there a Catholic Priest on board?!" When he got no reply, he ran back up the train shouting, "Is there an Anglican Priest on board?!" Still there was no reply. Now becoming very desperate, he ran down the train shouting, "Is there a Rabbi on board?" Finally, a passenger jumped up and shouted, "Can I be of any assistance, my friend?!! I'm a Charismatic Pastor!!" The agitated man paused, looked at him and said, "Sit down; you can't help me. I need a corkscrew!"