One Wish

A man is fishing and he catches a crocodile. The crocodile tells him, "Please let me go! I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man says, "Okay, I wish my penis could touch the ground." The crocodile then bites his legs off.

RIP Mom

My girlfriend throws up whenever she thinks about her dead mother.
I reckon it's mourning sickness

Hick Puzzle

Two hicks brought home a puzzle one day, and sat down to solve it. A week later, they finished the puzzle. "Well, that didn't take so durn long," said one of them. "Naw, it didn't. 'Specially considering it says 3-5 years on the box."