Mother Duck

Q: What did did the mother duck say to the little duck.
A: If you don't behave, I'm gonna quack you one.

Hawaiian Passerby

Two men debate whether Hawaii is pronounced "HaVaii" or "HaWaii." They ask a passerby, who answers "Havaii." "Thank you," says the satisfied first man. "You're velcome," replies the passerby.

The Wolf Man Howls

The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks.
"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts.
"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks sweetly.
"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! Alright! Is that alright with you? Can't I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? huh?" At this moment the wolf man started growling and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage.
Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself..."Well, I guess it's that time of the month!"