Anagrams

Q: Did you hear that the inventor of the anagram died today?
A: May he ‘erect a penis.’

Fairy Tales

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?" And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"

Catfish vs. Lawyer

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: Ones a gross dirty slimy scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and ones a fish...