Wordplay - Crushed

A man died in his home when a pile of books fell on him.
Police say he had only his shelf to blame.

Short but Clever

A very small female janitor (4'10", 90 pounds) worked at an amusement park and was asked to go out and sweep up the trash. As she was getting ready to start sweeping, her supervisor noticed her putting rocks in her pockets. When the supervisor asked her what she was doing, she said, "It's very windy out there and sometimes it blows me over. So, now I weigh me down to sweep."

Craig's List

A homeless Native American with a full bladder needs teepee.