Three Types of Tea

An American cowboy was traveling in England and decided to stop at a tea shop for a drink. On the menu there were several different teas to choose from. When the waitress came to take his order, the cowboy asked, "Ma'am, what the hell do all these names mean?" The waitress calmly replied, "We have basically three types of tea, sir. The pea-cove tea is 90% substance and 10% aroma, the orange tea is 10% substance and 90% aroma, and the Blackberry tea is an acquired taste." The cowboy responded, "Where I come from, we have three types of tea too, Ma'am. There's s-h-i-T which is 90% substance and 10% aroma, there is f-a-r-T which is 10% substance and 90% aroma, and then there is c-u-n-T which is an acquired taste."

Tasting Day at School

A teacher was having a tasting day where she would put candy in the kids' mouth and they would guess what it was. She went to the first little boy and put a Hershey's Kiss in his mouth. "Can you guess what it is?" "I don't know," said the boy. "I'll give you a hint. It's something your daddy asks your mommy for every morning." The girl next to the boy says "Don't eat it. It's a piece of ass."

Football Dirty Talk

• The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it.
• He's off to the sidelines for a quick blow.
• It's a game of inches.
• That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it.
• When you get down in this area, you just gotta start pounding.
• He's gonna feel that one tomorrow.
• He found his tight end.
• He had to stretch to get it in.
• He gets penetration in the backfield.
• He could go all the way.
• He gets it off just in time.
• He goes deep.
• He found a hole and slid through.
• He pounds it in.
• He's got great hands.