The pirate Red Beard was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who was looking for juicy stories of excitement and derring-do. He told Red, "I'm sure my readers would love to hear the tale behind your pegleg." "Well, I was thrown from the ship during gale force winds, and before me mate could throw me a line, a shark bit me leg clean off!" The interviewer was sort of disappointed. "What about the hook at the end of your right arm?" "I lost it in a sword fight with the Captain of the Guard!" Again the reporter was disappointed. "Certainly there's an exciting story about the patch on your eye?" "One day, I was out on deck, and a bird flew over and pooped in me eye!" The reporter was amazed. "That's why you wear a patch?" "Well, I'd only had me hook a couple of days!"
Four Things in Common
Q: What do a hurricane, a tornado, a fire and a divorce have in common?
A: They are four ways you can lose your house!
Coconut & Hurricane
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut?
A: Hold on to your nuts, it's going to be a hell of a blow job!
Q: What did the weather satellite say to mission control?
A: Houston, you have a problem.
Q: What's the difference between the lost city of Atlantis and Miami?
A: About 24 hours.