The Blonde Snowman
Q: How come it takes so long to build a blonde snowman?
A: Because you have to hollow out the head!
Q: When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
A: When it's raining cats and dogs!
Q: How did the tree feel in the spring?
Q: What is a hurricane?
A: Mother nature doing the twist!
Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning...
'Windows frozen; won't open'
Husband texts back, 'Pour warm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer'
Five minutes later wife texts back, 'Computer really messed up now.'