U.S. State Jokes
Top 5 Ferguson Police Jokes
As reported by the DOJ, these are the top 5 politically incorrect jokes emailed by Ferguson Police:
- President Barack Obama won't be president for long because, "What black man holds a steady job for four years?"
- "I be so glad that dis be my last child support payment! Month after month, year after year, all dose payments!"
- "An African-American woman in New Orleans was admitted into the hospital for a pregnancy termination. Two weeks later she received a check for $5,000. She phoned the hospital to ask who it was from. The hospital said, 'Crime Stoppers.'
- A man wanted to obtain "welfare" for his dogs because they are, "Mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their Daddies are."
- Photo of a bare-chested group of dancing women, apparently in Africa, with the caption, "Michelle Obama's High School Reunion."
Q: Name a rock group with four male members but none of them sing or play music.
A: Mt. Rushmore.
Q: Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey, so what did Delaware?
A: I don't know, Alaska.
Texas vs. New York
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: "So, where y'all from?" The New York girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"
You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way. The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane. The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"