Waylaid

One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road when he noticed, down an embankment, a man tied naked, face down to a large fallen tree. The hiker ran down to the man, and while removing his backpack asked, ''What happened to you?''
The tied up man began to tell him, ''I picked up a hitchhiker and a few miles down the road he held me up. He told me to pull over and took my car, my money, and all of my clothes. Then he tied me up to this tree.'' The hiker unzipped his fly and said, ''Boy, this just isn't your day, is it?''

World Traveler

Q: What travels all around the world while staying in one place?
A: A postage stamp.

Watering the Camel

An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water. "That way," he said, "You get an extra day out of them between drinks." As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel's balls. The camel sucked in its breath and took on three days' extra water. "Doesn't that hurt?" asked a tourist. "Nah," replied the bloke. "Only if you get your fingers caught!"