Telephone Jokes

Real Live Answering Machine

Hi, you have reached Richard. I'm sorry, but my answering machine is out of order, so the voice you are hearing is actually me.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes)
Anonymous

Burned Ears

A blonde ran into the hospital screaming, a doctor came running to her aid. To his surprise her ears were badly burnt and red. "What happened?" he asked. "I was ironing my shirt and the phone rang, thinking the iron was the phone I put it to my ear," she replied. "Oh no, but what happened to your other ear?" he asked. She frowned and replied "The jerk rang back!"

Categories: Blonde Jokes (Dumb Blonde Jokes) , Telephone Jokes
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Anonymous

Mortuary Answering Machine

Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen. You stab 'em and we slab 'em. We have specials on Mondays and Thursdays. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we'll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Profession Jokes , Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes)
Anonymous