Telephone Jokes

Answering Machine - Rich And Famous

Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam can't come to the phone right now because he's spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera. 

Categories: Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes) , Money Jokes (Rich People Jokes)
Anonymous

Telephone - Dog Days

A Wisconsin farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 signaling volts when the number was called.
4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Categories: Telephone Jokes , Math & Science Jokes , Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes)
Anonymous

Phone Call

"Hi Mom, it's me." "Hi Sally, are you okay? I thought you were with your father at the hardware store, looking for a drill." "Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they've let me make one phone call, and that's why I'm calling you." "Oh my God, what happened?"
"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the face." "What on earth . . . Why did you do that?"
"Well, it really wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black and Decker. Mom, I knocked the shit out of her!"

Categories: Telephone Jokes , Racist Jokes (Black Jokes) , Blonde Jokes (Dumb Blonde Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes)
Anonymous