Dumb West Virginia Laws

Dumb West Virginia Laws

• No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
• When a railroad passes within 1 mile of a community of 100 or more people in it, they must build a station and stop there regularly to pick up and drop off passengers.
• It is illegal to snooze on a train.
• Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.
• According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag.
• If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.
• Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
• Whistling underwater is prohibited.
• Alderson - One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.
• Nicholas County - No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
• Huntington - Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.
• It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on the courthouse steps.

West Virginia Drinking

Q: Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32? 
A: It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

HillBilly Memories

There was a NY reporter stuck in a small West Virginia mountain town. He decided to use the time by getting a good story to submit to his boss. He saw an old man sitting outside a local store and went over to begin the interview. "Sir, I'm writing a story about people in this area and would like to include an interesting story from you. Is there any particular story that you would like to share?" The old hillbilly smiled to himself as he thought back on a time. "Well, thar was the time I lost my sheep. We gathered up a bunch of the boys, got some moonshine in us and went off after it. When we found the sheep, we all took turns screwing it....my, that was fun!" The reporter couldn't write a story about that so he asked for another. "Well, when my neighbor's wife got lost, we all gathered up and got drunk and went out to look for her. We had a good time taking turns with her when we found her, too. Damn that was a lot of fun!" The reporter was frustrated. "Sir, I can't submit a story like that. Maybe you oughta tell me about a not so fun time you had." "Well," the hillbilly said as he fidgited in his chair, he looked up at the reporter with a pained expression, "thar was that time "I" got lost..."