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The best jokes and joke writers!

Hunting Trip Emergency

Two Virginia hunters, Bob and Fred, were going on a hunting trip. They get to where they wanted to be and started walking. After about a half hour of walking, they sit down and take a rest. Bob says to Fred, "I'm not feeling to good." Fred says, "Well, we can walk back to the truck." Bob says, "Yeah lets do that." So they start walking. About 15 minutes into the trip, Bob falls over. Fred panics and calls 911. The operator answers and says, "911, what's your emergency?" Fred says, "My friend fell over with a heart attack, I think he's dead, what do I do?" Operator says, "Well first make sure he's dead." Fred says, "Ok." The operator listens and hears a BANG!!! Fred gets back on the phone and says, "Ok. He's dead... now what?"

Virginia Crazy Law

  • Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
  • It is illegal to tickle women.
  • Driving while not wearing shoes is prohibited.
  • (Repealed) You may not work on Sunday.
  • (Repealed) Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars.
  • It is illegal to spit on sidewalk.
  • There is a state law prohibiting "corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates."
  • Police radar detectors are illegal.
  • It is illegal to sell peanut brittle on Sundays.
  • (Repealed) You cannot sell lettuce on Sunday, but you can sell beer, wine etc.
  • (Repealed) You cannot buy hardware of any kind on Sunday.
  • (Passed in 1975, repealed in 1977) No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk.
  • A person of color may not be oustide or within the city limits after 7 pm.
  • It is illegal to kick your wife out of bed.
  • Women must wear a corset after sundown and be in the company of male chaperon.
  • A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman's derriere.
  • Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated.
  • It is illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for a coffee.
  • It is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm.
  • It is illegal to skate down the sidewalk of Main Street.
  • It is unlawful to drive by the same place within 30 minutes on Atlantic Avenue.
  • If you are drunk and not driving your car, and the person who is driving the car is drunk as well, you may both receive DUI's.
  • It is illegal to use profanity on Atlantic Avenue or the boardwalk.
  • It is illegal for a person to ride on the handlebars of a bike.
  • It is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.

One for the Volunteers

Tennessee folks make fun of their northern Virginian neighbors with this quip:

Q: You know why birds fly upside down over Scott County, Virginia?

A: "Cause there ain't nothin' worth shittin' on up there!"