U.S. State Jokes - Florida Jokes
I.R.S. Parking Tickets
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Boston Globe, April 13, 1990 "Is there justice in this world?"
Well, in Jacksonville, Fla., an Internal Revenue Service car parked outside the federal courthouse was "booted" for unpaid parking tickets, forcing tax collectors to fork over $122.50 to set it free. The IRS had to pay $95 for five tickets, a $25 removal fee plus $2.50 for processing to get the boot taken off, said Gertrude Bradley, clerical supervisor for the city parking division. With the tax-filing deadline closing in, courthouse employees were chuckling about the IRS' misfortune. But the agency was not amused. "We're not pleased with it," said spokesman Holger Euringer. Yeah, we're all really upset.
A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, "So, tell me, how was it?" "Oh, it was beautiful," says the man. "The sun, the surf, we made love almost every night, we -" His friend interrupts him. "A man your age! How did you make love almost every night?" "Oh," says the man, "we almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday..."
Show Me The Money!
- A fool and his money are asked to go everywhere!
- A fool and his money are soon elected.
- A fool and his money are soon popular.
- A fool and his money is my kind of customer!
- If money's the root of all evil, why do churches want it?
- All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy.
- Come to Florida, bring money, BUT GET THE HECK OFF OUR BEACH!
- Even the blind can see money.
- Expert - Someone who knows less, but makes more money.
- It's not the money I want, it's the stuff.
- Life is a game. Money is how we keep score.
- Money burns a hole in my pocket... how about yours?
- Money is like an arm or leg, use it or lose it.
- Money is the root of all bills.
- Money may buy "friendship," but it cannot buy love.
- Money Talks - and it usually says NO!!
- Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you money.
- Political Motto: I had some morals; sold them for money.
- This country has the best politicians money can buy.
- Time and Money. Two things we don't have enough of....
- Turbo-Tax took money out of my Quicken directory.
- Visit your money this year - vacation in Washington D.C.
- When money talks, it usually says "Bend over."
- You infernal machine! Give me a soda or my money back!
- Alimony? ... sounds kind like all your money
- No one kills over drugs ... They kill over money.
- Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
It's All About the Money
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
Resignation From Phone Committee
OPERATOR, WE'VE BEEN DISCONNECTED: Florida State Senator John McKay has resigned from the Senate Regulated Industries Committee, which oversees such monopolies as the phone company, after his wife charged in a divorce proceeding that McKay had been having an affair with the lobbyist for the Sprint telephone company. (AP) John, that's not what Ma Bell meant by "Reach Out and Touch Someone".