A Hearing Problem
An elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about 20' behind her and asked "Can you hear me sweetheart?' No reply. Moved to 10' and inquired again. No reply. 5' and not a word. A few inches behind ear, he asked "Can you hear me now honey"? His wife said "For the fourth time, yes."
Catching a Mermaid
Three fishermen catch a mermaid. If they agree to set her free, she will grant them each a wish. The first guy says, "OK, I want you to double my I.Q." Immediately, the guy recites Shakespeare flawlessly. The second guy asks the mermaid to triple his I.Q. Suddenly, he's spouting complicated mathematical solutions. Impressed, the last guy asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid hesitates and asks, "Are you sure that's what you really want?" "Absolutely!" says the man. The mermaid smiles. Instantly, the third man turns into a woman.
Q: Four words guaranteed to destroy a man's ego:
A: "Is it in yet?"
Q: How do men exercise at the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
He says he has a mind of his own. He's welcome to it-- who else would want it?