Without Woman

A women's lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, "Where would man be today if it were not for woman?" She paused a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?" From the back of the room came a voice. "He'd still be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries!"

Last 10 Things Any Woman Would Ever Say

10. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of being just friends.
9. Go ahead and leave the seat up. It's easier for me to douche that way.
8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7. Hey, get a whiff of that one.
6. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away. The holes in the armpit are just to too cute.
5. This diamond is just way too big.
4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
3. Wow!! It really is 14 inches.
2. Does this make my butt look too small??
1. I'm wrong, you must be right again..

Men Are Like Plungers

Men are like plungers... they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.