Marriage Is...

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings": The Engagement Ring, The Wedding Ring, The Suffe-Ring and The Endu-Ring.

Education For Women

Continuing Education Courses for Women

• Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.
• The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
• Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
• Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game.
• Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
• Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.
• Valuation: Just Because It's Not Important to You . .
• Communication Skills I: Tears- The Last Resort, Not the First.
• Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking.
• Communication Skills III: Getting What You Want, Without Nagging.
• Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire.
• Party Etiquette: Drinking Your Fair Share.
• Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up.
• Introduction to Parking. Advanced Parking: Reversing Into A Space.
• Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior: Leaving the Towels on the Floor.
• Water retention: Fact or Fat.
• Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter.
• Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not For Human Consumption.
• Cooking III: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People.
• Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
• Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To.
• Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have.
• Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice.
• Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together.
• Ballet: For Women Only.
• Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both.
• Appreciating the Humor of the Three Stooges.
• "Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?" - Why Men Lie.
• TV Remotes: For Men Only.

Female Cop

A man gets pulled over by a female cop. He asks, "What seems to be the problem, officer?" The cop responds, "Oh, nothing."