Her Operation!

A woman goes to her doctor and says she wants an operation because her vagina lips are much too large. She asks the doctor to keep the operation a secret as she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out. The doctor agrees. She wakes up from her operation and finds three roses carefully placed beside her bed. Outraged she immediately calls in the doctor and says, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!" "Don't worry," he says, "I didn't tell anybody. The first rose is from me. I felt bad because you went through this all by yourself. The second one is from my nurse. She assisted me with the operation, and she had the operation done herself." "Who is the third rose from?" she asked. "Oh," says the doctor, "that rose is from a guy upstairs in the burn unit... He wanted to thank you for his new ears!"

10 Things to Never Say to a Naked Man

Uh...top 10 things not to say to a naked man:

1.  Awww...that's cute
2. Well, at least you're good at other things
3. Do you think it'll fit in my old Barbie® clothes?
4.  My li'l brother has one like that.
5.  Are you cold?
6. ...giggles...
7.  Maybe we should just be friends
8.  Can you make it dance?
9.  Umm...maybe you should get dressed
10.  Oh...look...its hiding!

Large Vision

My girlfriend told me my penis was huge. I'd have appreciated the compliment if she hadn't been looking through a magnifying glass at the time.