Sex Jokes - Private Parts

There's an old man laying on the beach naked and a little girl passes by. She stops and stairs at the man and asked "mister what is that thing between your legs?" The man says "oh that , well the thing that is standing is the bird the two things on the side are the eggs and the thing around it is the nest." The old man asked her to leave so he can get some sun. He falls asleep,  when he wakes up there are paramedics around him. He asked what happen.The paramedic said  "ask the little girl." The old man calls her over " what happened?" The little girl said "when you went to sleep I tried to make the bird fly, I pulled and pulled but he got big and spit at me so I kicked the bird, smashed the eggs and burned the nest..

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut?

A: Hold on to your nuts, it's going to be a hell of a blow job!

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

Q: Have you ever smelled moth balls?

A: How did you get their little legs apart?

A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the desert. After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking over the situation the priest figures neither one of them will survive the rest of the journey.

The priest asks the nun "I have never seen a woman's breasts, and at this point it probably wouldn't matter much, so could I see yours?" The nun agrees and shows him her breasts.   "May I touch them?" asks the priest. The nun allows him to. The priest comments sincerely how wonderful they are.

The nun then asks "Father, I have never seen a man's penis before, could you show me yours?" The priest drops his drawers. "May I touch it?" After she fondles his penis for a minute he sports a huge erection. The priest says, "you know if I place my penis in the proper place it can give life!"

"Is that right" the nun replies? "Yes," says the priest. "Then why don't you stick it up that camels ass and lets get the hell out of here!"