Sex Jokes - Gay Jokes
Q: Why are all lesbians skinny?
A: Because the only time they eat is when they eat out.
Wishing for Another Drink
There was this homeless drunk dude laying in an alley talking out loud saying, "I wish had another drink." He then passed out. As he was saying that, a gay dude was walking by and heard him. When the gay guy came back, he f*cked the homeless guy and put three dollars in his pocket. The homeless dude woke up later and found the money, ran to the liquor store, and said, "Give me the cheapest half of pint you have," and went back to his spot, drunk it and passed out again. The gay dude came back, f*cked the homeless dude again, and left five dollars. He ran back to the liquor store and said, "Give me the cheapest pint you have," and went back to his spot. The gay dude came back again. Once he saw the homeless man passed out, he f*cked him again and left eight dollars. The homeless dude woke up and realized he had some more money. He ran back to the liquor store, and before he could say a word, the owner said, "I know, you want the cheapest pint you can get," and the homeless dude said, "No, give me the most expensive half you got. That cheap liquor is tearing my ass up."
Three Gay Guys Die In a Car Crash
Three gay guys were in a car crash and died. All three guys were cremated. Their boyfriends were talking about what they were going to do with the ashes. The first boyfriend said, "I am going to sky dive and spread his ashes in the sky because that's what he liked. The second guy said, "I am going to spread my boyfriend's ashes in the sea because that's what he liked." The third guy said," I'm going to put my boyfriend's ashes in a bowl of chili so he can rip through my ass one last time!
A Lesbian Dinosaur
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Four friends met up after a game of golf, and while one man went to get drinks, the other three spoke about how successful their sons are:
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a sports car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari 488 GTB.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son runs Gulfstream and just gave his best friend a G650.
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a French Chateau.
Guy 4 walks back to the group of the other 3 guys.
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about?
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are.
Guy 4: Well, my son is a Gay stripper.
Guy 2: You must be so disappointed. What caused him to be so unsuccessful in life?
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a new Ferrari, his own private jet, and a French castle from his three boyfriends.