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The best jokes and joke writers!

Ashamed

Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again...being so ashamed of what they were doing.

Two Condoms Walking

Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to the other, "Hey, do you fancy dropping in there and getting shit-faced?"

Eating Out

Q: Why are all lesbians skinny?

A: Because the only time they eat is when they eat out.

Wishing for Another Drink

There was this homeless drunk dude laying in an alley talking out loud saying, "I wish had another drink." He then passed out. As he was saying that, a gay dude was walking by and heard him. When the gay guy came back, he f*cked the homeless guy and put three dollars in his pocket. The homeless dude woke up later and found the money, ran to the liquor store, and said, "Give me the cheapest half of pint you have," and went back to his spot, drunk it and passed out again. The gay dude came back, f*cked the homeless dude again, and left five dollars. He ran back to the liquor store and said, "Give me the cheapest pint you have," and went back to his spot. The gay dude came back again. Once he saw the homeless man passed out, he f*cked him again and left eight dollars. The homeless dude woke up and realized he had some more money. He ran back to the liquor store, and before he could say a word, the owner said, "I know, you want the cheapest pint you can get," and the homeless dude said, "No, give me the most expensive half you got. That cheap liquor is tearing my ass up."

Three Gay Guys Die In a Car Crash

Three gay guys were in a car crash and died. All three guys were cremated. Their boyfriends were talking about what they were going to do with the ashes. The first boyfriend said, "I am going to sky dive and spread his ashes in the sky because that's what he liked. The second guy said, "I am going to spread my boyfriend's ashes in the sea  because that's what he liked." The third guy said," I'm going to put my boyfriend's ashes in a bowl of chili so he can rip through my ass one last time!