Sex Jokes

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Scottish Regiment

A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls a beat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist how much it would cost to repair the condom. The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spot welding the holes, it would cost 26 pence, but that for 29 pence, he could sell the private a new one. The private said, "Aye, that is a weighty decision, I shall be back in two hours with an answer." Two hours later, The Scotsman returns and says: "The regiment has voted to replace."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Scottish Jokes) , Military Jokes , Sex Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Headers

First I'll do a header, then you do one. Goooaaalll!

Categories: Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Pickup Lines (Guy to Girl) , Sports Jokes (Soccer / Football Jokes)
Anonymous

Doctor Visit

I went to the doctor...
I went to see the doctor the other day. Turns out my new doctor is a drop-dead gorgeous brunette.

I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional - I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.”

I said, “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.”

Categories: Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes)
Anonymous