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Sex Jokes
Lesbian at the Gynecologist
A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place her feet in the stirrups. As he is examining her she hears him saying "mmmm... mmmhmmm". He completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him in his office when she is done. In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his non-verbal comments. "Oh, that" he says. " I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest vaginal area that I have ever seen in all my years of practice." The young woman proudly smiled and replied, "Why thank you! I have a woman come in twice a week and clean it!"
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A Small Disappointment
Two GI's in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench for three days when one needs to shit. "I can't go in here" he says" It's really going to stink" "There's another trench over there" says the other. "I'll cover you with the M60.... just give me a shout and i'll cover you so you can get back" "OK" so the GI runs across while the other fires off the machine gun. He's waiting 10 minutes ......15 .......20 ....he shouts out "Are you Ok?" .....nothing. Over an hour later he hears his mate shouting. "Cover me i`m coming back." When he jumps back in, his mate says "Where the fuck have you been? you've been gone for over an hour" "Yeah, I know. There's a girl in there, I played with her tits, fondled her ass, turned her round and fucked her from behind!" "It was great!" "You lucky Bastard" said the other "did you get a blow job?" "nah" said the other,disappointedly" she didn't have a head"
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No Protection
A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices strange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off." The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan. The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?" The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA." The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off." The man answers, "Yes!" The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."
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