Sex Jokes

JokerZ offers a HUGE collection of funny dirty jokes. Check out our professionally curated categories for hilarious adult jokes and sex jokes. Set your filter on Risque and Uncensored to browse dirty knock-knock jokes, inappropriate jokes and one liners from professional joke writers. Over 3000 of the best dirty jokes will have you ROFL. Share jokes anonymously with friends or post on social sites.

How to Pick Up Women

There were two guys who wanted to pick up women on a beach. One was Italian (Luca) and the other was Russian (Vladimir). Luca had no problem picking up gorgeous women.  He was the most popular guy on the beach. But Vladimir had no success. 
Vladimir: "Luca! How do you do it? How do you attract so many beautiful women?"
Luca: "Well, I'll tell ya!  But it's a secret,  just between you and me. I don't want my system to become too public."
Vladimir: "OK. It's a deal."
Luca: "You see those potatoes over there? Well, every time I come to the beach I take one and put it in my Speedo. When the women see it, they come running from miles around."
Vladimir: "That's it? I can do that."
The next day, Vladimir went over to the produce stand and picked out the biggest, most perfectly shaped potato he could find. He then went into the changing room and slipped it into his Speedo. As he walked out onto the beach, he immediately noticed that women and men began to notice him. "It's working, he thought."  But soon he began to realize that they were not looking interested but rather upset, almost disgusted by the sight of him. He rushed over to Luca and asked, "Luca, what's the problem? Why isn't it working?"
Luca: "Because you're supposed to put the potato in the FRONT!!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Appearance Jokes
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Anonymous

Knock at the Door

A neighbor's wife knocks on the door and says, "Your kids can't play with our children any more." "Why?" the man asks, shocked. "They keeping on calling the other kids gay! You should watch your language around them!"
The man replies, "They couldn't have learned it from me, otherwise they would have been calling them faggots."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Gay Jokes)
Anonymous

Car Repair Payments

A young woman experienced car trouble late one afternoon but luckily, an old man in a tow truck stopped and offered help. Not knowing the area, she asked if he could repair the car. He agreed to do it and after hoisting the car up on the truck, the two of them took the car back to the old man's garage. He looked at the engine and made an estimate of about one hundred dollars, which she couldn't quite afford.
"Darn," she says. "Just one hunderd dollars? If you weren't such an old guy, I'd fuck you for the remainder of the bill."
"Hell, I'll show you who's old!" the old man retorted. "Take off that dress and get on the car." She giggled as she slipped off her dress and eyed the old man after he dropped his pants. He was hung like a mule! "Oh boy!" she thought. "Not only am I going to get a great discount on the repairs, I'm going to get the hell fucked out of me too." Then she noticed the old man placing washers on the base of his dick. "Hey, what are you doing?" the woman asked. "Hell," the old man replied, "you think for just a hundred dollars, you're gonna get all of this?"

Categories: Sex Jokes , Travel Jokes (Car Trip Jokes)
Anonymous