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Sex Jokes
Skunks
Q: What do you call a pair of skunks that are 69ing?
A: Odor eaters
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Sugar and Cream?
A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee. The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous customers having lunch at the diner. The man, who uses both creamer and sugar in his coffee, notices that the container is empty. As the waitress rushes by, he asks her to bring him cream and sugar for his coffee. The waitress, busier than she can ever remember being before, rushes to the back to pick up more orders. As she passes the cabinet where the extra sugar and cream are kept, she sets a plate down and puts sugar cubes and creamer packets in her bosom because both her hands are full. After she has served the two plates she was holding, she returns to the man and asks him, "How many sugar cubes did you want in your coffee?" The man says, "Two's fine." She reaches into her bra, pulls out two sugar cubes and drops them into his cup. "And cream?" she asks. The man looks at her, squarely in the eye and says, "You wouldn't dare!"
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Family Vocabulary Lesson
A little boy came home from school one day and told his mother, ''Mom, today I heard some older kids using some words I don't know the meaning of. Can you tell me what they mean?'' ''Sure,'' his mother said. ''Just tell me what they are.'' The little boy replied, ''Pussy and bitch.'' His mother said, ''No problem. A pussy is a cat, like the neighbor's Tabby, and a bitch is a female dog, like our Sandy.'' The boy thanked his mother, and then went out to the garage, where his father was working. ''Dad,'' he began, ''today I heard some kids using some words that I don't know the meaning of. I asked Mom, but I don't think that she gave me the right answer. Can you help me?'' ''Sure,'' his father replied. ''What are the words?'' ''Pussy and bitch,'' the boy replied. His father said, ''I thought I told you anytime you have a question like that, you were supposed to ask me, and not your mother, because she can't handle it.'' With that, he reached up on a shelf and pulled down an edition of Playboy magazine, and a magic marker. He then took the marker, and drew a circle around the woman's genital area. ''Son,'' he began, ''everything inside this circle is a pussy.'' ''Okay,'' his son said, ''but what is a bitch?'' His father said, ''Everything outside this circle.''
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