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Sex Jokes
Chinese Date
I asked a chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
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Nun on the bus
A guy is riding the bus. When the bus pulls up to a stop, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on. The only problem is that she is a nun. He decides to approach her anyway.
"Sister, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I must have sex with you," he says.
"I'm sorry but I've given my body to God," she replies, and then keeps walking.
Suddenly, the bus driver turns around to the guy and says, "I know a way you can get her in the sack." The bus driver tells the guy about how the nun goes to confessional every day, at 3 PM.
The next day at 3 PM, the guy is in the confessional booth, dressed as a priest. When the nun approaches in the darkness, he says "Sister, God has told me I must have sex with you."
She replies "Well, if God has said it, we must do it. However, because of my strong commitment to God, I will only take it up my rear-end." The guy figures this isn't a problem, and proceeds to have the best sex he's ever had.
After it is over, he whips off his outfit and says, "Surprise! I'm the guy on the bus."
Then, the nun turns around and says, "Surprise! I'm the bus driver."
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Gorilla On A Barstool
A man walked into the bar and there was a gorilla sitting on a barstool. The man asked the bartender what the gorilla was doing in the bar so the bartender showed him. He took out a bat and hit the gorilla over the head with it. The animal instantly dropped down and gave the bartender blow job. The Bartender then asked the man if he would like to try it. The man said "Sure, but please don't hit me quite so hard".
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