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Sex Jokes
Indian Feathers
A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one day when an Indian came up to her. He had a feather in his hair. "How did you get that feather?" the woman asked. "I screw one squaw," the Indian said. Then, another Indian came up to her. He had two feathers in his hair. "How did you get those feathers?" she asked. "I screw two squaw," he said. Then, an Indian with a headdress of feathers came up to her. "My! How did you get all those feathers?" she asked. "I screw two squaw, four squirrel, five rabbit, eight bear." he answered. "Oh dear!" said the woman. The Indian replied, "No deer, deer jump too high, balls get stuck in bush."
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Buzz Buzz Buzz
A man and a woman have just finished having sex when suddenly a bee flies in the bedroom window and zooms straight up the woman's love tunnel. "Oh God!" she screams. "Help me! There's a bee up my vagina and it's buzzing around in there (albeit rather pleasurably)!"
"Let's go says her boyfriend. I'll rush you straight to hospital."
On arrival at the emergency room, the agitated couple are ushered into a curtained-off area by a male doctor. "What seems to be the problem?" he asks.
"I've got a freaking bee up my vagina," screams the woman. "Get it out!"
"I see," says the doctor. "Well, there's only one way to extract this bee. I'm going to have to spread honey on my penis and entice it out."
The doctor gets out his old fella and dunks it in a jar of honey he just happens to have with him. He then mounts the woman and penetrates her with his sticky sweet love stick. "Just an inch or two should do it," he says.
After a few seconds he slides it in a bit further. After another few seconds he says, "Hmmm, it doesn't seem to be biting. I'll have to go deeper," and slides it in all the way.
Suddenly he starts fondling her boobs with his hands, thrusting violently with his hips and moaning with what sounds like pleasure.
"HOLD IT!" says the boyfriend. "What are you doing?"
"Change of plans!" shouts the doctor. "I've decided to drown the little bastard!"
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Viagra And Valium
Q: What is the result if you take a Viagra with a Valium?
A: If you don't get to fuck, you don't give a fuck.
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