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The best jokes and joke writers!

Moral of the Story

One day Adam's teacher told the class that everyone must find out a moral for the next day's class. One boy came in and said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." The second boy said, "Don't judge a book by it's cover." Then Adam came in with a broken jaw and black eyes and said, "I asked my Uncle Johnny for a moral and he told me to shut up. I told him he had to help me because it was homework." The teacher said, "What is the moral, Johnny?" "DON''T MESS WITH UNCLE JOHNNY WHEN HE'S DRINKING!!!''

Earth Science Answers

Real Answers From Earth Science Exams

  • The terrestrial planets are much larger than the gas giants.
  • Wegener found matching bedbugs on opposite sides of the Atlantic.
  • The main problem associated with limestone aquifers is Lyme disease.
  • We don't have rock salt on Guam because that forms from from evaporation of oceans and we don't have oceans on Guam.
  • Erie, Pennsylvania has no volcanoes because it's too cold there.
  • The most important agent of landscape formation on Guam is greyhounds - they are intelligent.
  • We know that the sun is much farther away from us than the moon is, because we can see stars between us and the sun, but not between us and the moon.
  • The rear end of a trilobite is called a trilobutt. 

Questions During an Exam

Should you have any questions during the exam, just raise your hand. This should cause enough blood to flow to your brain to answer it yourself.

Passing a School Bus

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

"Unlawful to Pass School Bus from Either Direction" I guess that some people misunderstood that, because now it reads: "Unlawful to Pass Stopped School Bus from Either Direction".

The Homework Schedule

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.

  • 15 minutes looking for assignment.
  • 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.
  • 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.
  • 8 minutes in the bathroom.
  • 10 minutes getting a snack.
  • 7 minutes checking the TV Guide.
  • 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.
  • 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.