School Jokes - Others

Now I lay me down to study, I pray the Lord I won't go nutty. If I should fail to learn this junk, I pray the Lord I will not flunk. But if I do, don't pity me at all, just lay my bones in the study hall. Tell my prof I did my best, then pile my books upon my chest. Now I lay me down to rest and pray I'll pass tomorrow's test. If I should die before I wake, that's one less test I'll have to take.

Q: What was the geometry student looking for at the beach?

A: A tangent.

Teacher: What are the Great Plains?

Pupil: 747, Concorde and F-16!

• "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." -- Groucho Marx 1890-1977
• This reminds me of the student who began his Middle Ages story with: "He was a dark and stormy knight...."
• In a survey taken several years ago, all incoming freshman at MIT were asked if they expected to graduate in the top half of their class. Ninety-seven percent responded that they did.
• Q: What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A: The teacher says "Get that gum out of your mouth", where as the train says "Chew, Chew. " 
• "The reason that every major university maintains a department of mathematics is that it is cheaper to do this than to institutionalize all those people." 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Don Juan!

Don Juan who?

Don Juan to go to school today!