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13 Pranks for College Lecture

1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
3. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY." (At Least for the Male profs.)
4. Address the professor as "your excellency."
5. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"
6. Relive your Junior High days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard erasers.
7. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he's been drinking.
8. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
9. Sit in the front row reading the professor's graduate thesis and snickering.
10. Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, "Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?" Become agitated when the professor can't understand you.
11. Wink at the professor every few minutes. (Hey you might even get a date if he/she is cute.)
12. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Signup Sheet #5" at the top, and start passing it around the room.
13. Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.

Top Ten Subtle Differences Between College And Hell

10. It doesn't snow in Hell.
9. Everyone has heard of Hell.
8. It's more fun getting into Hell.
7. You can't fail out of Hell.
6. At least you can sleep in Hell.
5. Hell is forever, college just seems like it.
4. People smile in Hell.
3. You only have to sell your soul to get into Hell.
2. You know there are hot men in Hell.
1. You wouldn't tell a friend to go to college.

Mormon Marketing

Q: What is the slogan of the Mormon Church?

A: "We don't care how you bring 'em, just Brigham Young."

Harvard Vs. Virgins

Q: What do a virgin and Harvard University have in common?

A: They're both hard to get into.

SAT Score Decay

SAT score decay

As we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years. The following may be the reason why. A math problem in the 60's: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of this price. What is his profit? A math problem in the 70's: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of this price, or $80. What is his profit? A math problem in the 70's using New Math: A logger exchanges a set L of lumber for a set M of money. The cardinality of set M is 100, and each element is worth $1. Make 100 dots representing the elements of set M. The set C of the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set M, and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set P of profits? A math problem in the 80's: A logger sells a truckload of wood for $100. His cost of production is $80, and his profit is $20. Your assignment: underline the number 20. A math problem in the 90's under Outcome Based Education: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, a logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of living? (Topic for class participation: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel?)