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The best jokes and joke writers!

The Label

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Michigan." And they say blondes are dumb...

Detroit Dreams

Simba: Dad, what's the Super Bowl?

Mufasa: I don't know Simba, we're lions.

Michigan Robbers

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"

When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

Michigan Crazy Law

  • You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
  • It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
  • A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
  • Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
  • There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.
  • Clawson - There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
  • Detroit - Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.
  • It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose.
  • According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food.
  • Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
  • It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
  • Grand Haven - No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
  • Harper Woods - It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
  • Kalamazoo - It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.
  • Rochester - All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.
  • Soo - Smoking while in bed is illegal.
  • Wayland - Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.

Wolverine Parking Only

Q: Why do University of Michigan graduates hang their diplomas from their rear view mirrors?

A: So they can use handicapped parking.