After the Fall in Garden of Eden...

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?", Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home."

Tyson and OJ At the Vatican

Mike Tyson and OJ head to the Vatican to meet the pope and get absolved of all of their sins. While waiting for the pope to arrive Mike is eating nuts and throwing the shells on the floor.  OJ gets a little agitated and decides to go for a stroll. He comes back to find the Pope standing in front of Mike giving him the sign of the cross. OJ runs up to Mike and says "Did the Pope bless you and forgive you for your sins???" Mike replies "No, he said  'You (Up) pick up those nuts (Down), get that Nigger (Left) and get the fuck out (Right). 

Real V Fake

Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.