Adam Greeting

Q:  What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
A:  It's Christmas, Eve !

Iraqi TV Guide

Iraqi TV Guide:

MONDAY

8:00 - Husseinfeld
8:30 - Mad About Everything
9:00 - Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 - Allah McBeal
TUESDAY

8:00 - Wheel of Fortune and Terror
8:30 - The Price is Right if Saddam Says it's Right
9:00 - Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things
9:30 - Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers
WEDNESDAY

8:00 - Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
8:30 - Diagnosis: Heresy
9:00 - Just Shoot Me
9:30 - Veilwatch
THURSDAY

8:00 - Mahatma Loves Chachi
8:30 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
9:00 - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
9:30 - My Two Baghdads
FRIDAY

8:00 - Judge Saddam
8:30 - Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things
9:00 - Achmed's Creek
9:30 - No-witness News

The Unhappy Nun

The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company's complaint department to ask for help. "The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community.  You must make them stop cursing so much.", said the nun. "Very well, sister.  But you must make allowances for their habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade.", said the company spokeswoman.  Mother superior then observed, "I think the term they actually use is 'fucking shovel!'".